


From Nothing

by danceswithgary



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, SGA Secret Santa 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28247457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: Curious as to the cause of change, the why and how he became such, he reversed an aimless course to return to the last point in space within his linear memory.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 20
Kudos: 77
Collections: SGA Secret Santa 2020





	From Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [respoftw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/gifts).



The flow of time is irrelevant, as is their location in space. 

They are nothing. 

Void of thirst, of hunger, of any need. 

They merely are. 

Surrounded by infinite knowledge, they will exist as thought until entropy disperses them.

Except. 

Except entropy will have to wait because there is a tether. A bond. 

They are still connected to something.

Someone.

They were...he was someone, somewhere, until...this.

Curious as to the cause of change, the why and how he became such, he reversed an aimless course to return to the last point in space within his linear memory.

A lab...his lab.

On...on Atlantis.

He remembered.

Remembered shouting, "Don't touch that you idiot! We haven't classified..."

Remembered the shocked, then terrified face of the newest lab idiot as the device activated in her hands, as she turned toward him. 

Extending an insubstantial hand in futile past protest, he completed his terminal thought, "...what it does yet or whether it can kill us!"

There had been no pain, merely an invisible thrust that had detached his self from all physical bonds.

All mental bonds – save one.

A bond he followed, phasing through walls, bypassing a tortuously slow passage via hallways for the more direct route.

To arrive in the infirmary, his target engaged in a shouting match with...Carson. It was Carson, his friend and Elizabeth and...and...and his team. Teyla and Ronon, who appeared ready to jump into the fray at a moment's notice.

And in the center, the focus. John. John Sheppard, his face haggard under days of stubble. The reason for his return. John stood next to a bed, gripping the hand of a man connected to beeping, blinking machinery, a man whose face was obscured by a mask. He watched John's face contort in angry anguish as he raged, "It's not time yet!"

Carson shook his head and sighed. "We've been though this again and again, Colonel. I've tried everything. There's no brain activity. The only reason Rodney's body is alive is the equipment the Replicators initialized before we got rid of them. Rodney wouldn't want this. You know that!"

\\\That name. Rodney. That was...him. _He_ was Doctor Rodney McKay.\\\

"No, I don't know that! What I do know is that I have the papers he signed making me his health proxy after the last time a stupid ascension experiment almost killed him!" Gently placing the man's hand on the bed, John turned to Elizabeth, lowering his voice to plead, "You have to give Zelenka more time to research the damn thing. You have to give Rodney more time. After all he's done, he deserves it. Doesn't he?"

Elizabeth reached out to awkwardly pat John's shoulder. "This isn't like the time he nearly ascended, John. Rodney's body is still here. You know that if the artifact had worked, he'd be completely...gone."

\\\That was _his_ body in the bed, waiting for him.\\\

"You can't just flip the switch and turn him off like that! He's...I'm his...he's...he's...."

John had resisted defining their relationship, hence John's flailing inability to label what they were. Despite his recall of irritation, Rodney decided John had been tortured enough. With a thought, he floated forward and touched his body and snap! Opening his eyes to a ring of startled faces and a cacophony of medical alarms, he pulled the Ancient equivalent of an oxygen vent from his face to announce, "Here. I'm here."

~//~

After Carson's extremely thorough examination, an equally thorough de-briefing, and a very long hot shower, Rodney emerged from his bathroom to find John sitting on his bed. Startled, he fumbled for both his towel and then words, finally landing on a simple, "Hey."

John jerked his chin up in reply, his face freshly shaved, his expression giving Rodney no clue as to how to proceed. He settled for silently crossing to his dresser for clean underwear and sweats, wishing he'd brought them into the bathroom earlier. It wasn't that they hadn't seen each other naked before, it was that he felt oddly vulnerable without a shield of clothing.

John was there when he turned around, crowding him back against the wood, Rodney's hands trapped holding a bundle of clothes between them. 

John's palm pressed lightly against the center of Rodney's chest, his voice thick as he whispered, "You said it hit you here. Does it hurt?"

"No," Rodney whispered back, freeing a hand to cover John's. "It never did. It was...painless."

Leaning closer, John paused, a breath away from Rodney's lips. "So it won't hurt if I do this?"

"No," Rodney said. "It definitely won't." 

And it didn't.

~//~

Pleasantly achy and sprawled belly-down, Rodney was on the edge of sleep when John's voice rumbled against his shoulder. "You said the Ancients considered the experiment a failure because it kept leaving a body behind and they had no proof the person ascended."

"Because they didn't." Rodney had had enough questions for one day, but he indulged John anyway. "Like I said, I didn't really ascend, not like Jackson did or Teer's village. I was just...detached."

John's arm tightened across Rodney's back. "So how'd you manage to figure out how to get back inside?"

"I didn't, not really," Rodney said after a few moments of reflection. "I just knew I had to."

"You had everything out there, you could do anything, solve all the questions you've ever had. Right?"

Rodney frowned, not understanding the point of John's questions. He rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow, bringing up the lights so that he could see John's face as he answered. "I suppose I did, but I no longer cared. I just...existed. Nothing else mattered."

John wouldn't meet Rodney's eyes, shrugging as he asked, "So why did you come back?"

Rodney shook his head in fond exasperation at John's failure to comprehend the simplest of truths. 

"Because there was one exception, the only truth that did remain out there." He leaned down to kiss the tip of a ridiculously pointed ear.

John scowled and rubbed away the tickle like he always did, but he was determined. "What was it?" His scowl morphed to a shy grin at Rodney's chuckled reply.

"That I'm...yours."


End file.
